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W.W.J.S.?
Jesusco IndustriesTM, the mastermind behind the incredibly popular and incredibly annoying "W.W.J.D.?" advertisement campaign, is now ready to announce their latest followup products. Jesusco Fish and Bread Products
Yes, you too can survive on only a single fish and loaf of bread! With Jesusco Fish Sticks, all you need is a microwave to bring the miracles to your kitchen! Wives! Are you tired of slaving over a stove for your family? (You better not say you are too busy to cook, since your place is in the home!) If so, use Jesusco Self-Rising Bread. Using the same Miracle Brand chemicals that Jesus himself used to rise, this amazing new bread will rise; all you have to do is martyr it. Jesusco Wine
Introducing Jesusco Wine, the only wine with Jesus' face on it. Simply pour a glass of water, drop the Jesusco Wine crystals into the glass, then stir. Its a miracle, its turned into wine! Jesusco Wine is a great party drink; it'll really impresses the bishops when they come out for you always rockin' Easter party! Jesusco Clothing
Thats right, why just follow the Son of God's word when you can wear his clothes, too! Following in his footsteps has never been so literal! Of the many lines of Jesusco Clothing to choose from, the most popular are the standard Jesus Robe and Jesus Sandals, both for only $79.99! You can't find a better deal without being nailed to a wooden cross! Another favorite is the Jesusco brand Swimming Sandals. These marvels of foot-wear technology have rubber soles that are light enough they float in water. Next time you have a pool party, whip these out and take the fun to a heavenly level! Also available, but not quite as popular, are Thorny Crowns, for only $69.99, and Sandals, with nail-holes pre-made. Jesusco Demon Mace
Yes, you too can expell demons out of people! Simply take the Jesusco Demon Mace in your hand, pull the pin, put it in the possessed victim's face, and push down on the button. Expect severe swearing to occur, as this is the vile demon cursing the existence of the holy mace, and it will leave the body. Works very well on non-demon possessed attackers, too! |