These are some assorted quotes from Groucho Marx.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx
Whoever named it 'necking' was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx
Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.
-- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough.
-- Groucho Marx
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
-- Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx
I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member.
-- Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.
-- Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
-- Groucho Marx
Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
-- Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
-- Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Everytime somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx
Please forgive me for not writing sooner. I've been so busy not writing to other people that I couldn't get around to not writing you in time.
-- Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
-- Groucho Marx