Here are all of my unorganized quotes. This is the bulk of my quote collection, since most of them don't fit into any one category. There are 100 (or so) quotes right here.
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
-- Robert Heinlein
I have nothing to say and I am saying it.
-- John Cage
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
-- Antoine de aint-Exupery
As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big.
-- Donald Trump
All of the greatest technological inventions of man - the automobile, the airplane, the computer - says little about man's intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.
-- Mark Kennedy
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
-- F. M. Hubbard
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!) but 'That's funny...'
-- Isaac Asimov
We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.
-- Whole Earth Catalog
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
-- John Andrew Holmes
Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.
-- Suzanne Necker
Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.
-- Nietzsche
If you cannot feed a million people, then just feed one.
-- Mother Teresa
The most violent element in society is ignorance.
-- Emma Man
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
-- Arabian Proverb
Sometimes I just wish it were greener on my side.
-- Chris Loncar
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
-- E. B. White
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have to at least consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
-- Douglas Adams
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
-- Sam Brown
Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.
-- Jessamyn West
A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
-- John Steinbeck
Rivers of truth taste the same.
-- Tibetan Saying
Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
-- Ambrose Bierce
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few.
-- Shunryu Suzuki
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
-- Albert Camus
As long as the body is warm and the bowels move regularly, no problem can be other than minor and temporary.
-- Robert Heinlein
When the happiness of another person becomes as essential to yourself as your own, then the state of love exists.
-- Robert Heinlein
Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone.
-- Jorge Luis Borges
He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
-- Henry Blake
Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what the people do want.
-- Clive Barnes
When life hands you a lemon, say 'Oh yeah, I _like_ lemons. What else ya got??'
- Henry Rollins
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
-- David Edison
When I was told to the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'
-- Quentin Crisp
Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.
-- Flowers A. Newhouse
The sports page records people's accomplishments. The front page nothing but their failures.
-- Justice Earl Warren
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.
-- Sandra Carey
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.
-- Indira Gandhi
I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
-- Johnathan Katz
What matters is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A life is not important, except in the impact it has on other lives.
-- Jackie Robinson
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. Well, I think my mother is attractive, but I just keep pictures of her.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
When the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
Nature's tendency is always towards balance: when the world is cold, the will is warm.
-- Michael Patrick
There is no idea so good it can't be ruined by a few well-placed idiots.
-- Scott Adams, Dilbert
creator
It's never too late, in fiction or in life, to revise.
-- Nancy Thayer
As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
-- Hunter S. Thompson's Attorney
In work there is no shame; shame is in the idleness.
-- Hesiod
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
-- Fran Lebowitz
If you go into a battle, it's better to win the first time.
-- George S. Patton
If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.
-- Dennis Roch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Berloiz
An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
-- Dan Rather
A statistic: In North America there are: 7 major movie studios and more than 1,800 daily newspapers, 11,000 magazines, 11,000 radio stations, 2,000 TV stations, 2,500 book publishers. 23 corporations own and control over 50% of the business in each medium. In some cases they have a virtual monopoly.
-- Noam Chomsky
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Elbert Hubbard
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
-- Elbert Hubbard
I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.
-- Pat Schroeder, response to question on being both mother and congresswoman
Gender affects how teenagers develop sexually, according to a new study.
-- The Daily Utah Chronicle, 1-10-1997
We are all born originals - why is it so many of us die copies?
-- Edward Young
The urge to destroy is a creative urge.
-- M. Bakunin
Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
-- Richard Ben Sapir
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak is busy thinking up something else.
-- Lily Tomlin
A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be.
-- Rosalyn Carter
The streets are safe in Philadelphia, its only the people who make them unsafe.
Frank Rizzo
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
-- Abba Eban
Love thy neighbor as yourself, but choose your neighborhood.
-- Louise Beal
I would rather be the first man here than the second one in Rome.
-- Julius Caesar
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler
The mind should not multiply entities beyond necessity. What can be done with fewer ... is done in vain with more.
-- William of Ockham
The friend of a fool is a fool. The friend of a wise person is another wise person.
-- Husia proverb
Speak softly and carry a big gun.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.
-- Paul Harvey
I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blond.
-- Dolly Parton
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
-- Robert F. Kennedy
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
-- Chinese proverb
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-- Winston Churchill
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
-- Harrison's postulate
What makes life worth living? To be born with the gift of laughter and sense that the world is mad.
-- S. Scaramouche
Unquestionably there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
-- H. L. Mencken
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-- H. H. Williams
The idea of strictly minding our own business is moldy rubbish. Who could be so selfish?
-- Myrtie Barker
You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking of yesterday all the time.
-- Charles F. Kettering
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
-- Jay Leno
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
-- Ernest Benn
It's time for the human race to enter the solar system.
-- Dan Quayle
Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong.
-- Winston Churchill
I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me.
-- Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss)
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
-- Albert Camus
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
-- Elizabeth I
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry S. Truman
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.
-- Hubert Humphrey