I'm sitting at my table. Listening to my instructions.
"I'm glad that you guys are doing so well and don't do your work in class when you forget and try to sneak it by as done." We've been through this for almost half a year lady, of course we don't do that.
"And always remember to bring your homework in on time." Again it goes with out saying, but any ways, I try to pay even more attention, so I don't forget my homework and feel bad.
Another french class has started.
Yes I am complaining about school. However, I am not complaining about school in the normal way. Please observe.
Before we continue, I would like to say that I am in no way a failing student. I am one of the smartest in a class of rather bright students, and I may not be the smartest, but I would consider my self smarter then most of them.
So you might wonder what I am complaining about. Well, its the stress. Its the feeling that I can only think about nine of ten things at a time, but the tenth is going to come back and whack me. Its how there's always another unsolved problem on the horizon, and while history shows that there's a good chance of a solution very soon, its that worry, that naggingness that is unsettling.
It starts as just a little annoying feeling of having to concentrate more, and more. Then the few things that you miss come back and bite you. Then you concentrate more. Its a very difficult cycle. It starts as just a little tension. you don't even notice it. Then it starts to be one of the back burner concerns. I mean, you have so many things to think about, the obvious way to solve it is to think harder on all your issues. Then you see a never ending parade of problems. Eventually its an all out fear of school. Its a problem you see.
In fact, I might not have even considered writing this rant, unless for the FEW and VERY far between times when I don't feel like I have to be extremely worried about something or other. Its times like though that I just feel like I could fly. Unfortunately, it tends to be rather short lived, another crisis is always just around the corner.
Now why I started with french class. It is arguable that french is no harder then any class, and if you say that, I'll agree. However, its the way the french teacher teaches the class. She starts almost every day with the above speech and every day I get a little more wound-up about getting the work in on time. Then, inevitably I'll forget my homework once in awhile, and I'll feel really bad about it in class. This just makes me more resolved to think about it more, and even more miserable. This just accentuates the cycle, it doesn't start, or become a part of a new one.
Now lets look at the opposite. I consider math class to be the opposite. Not becuase its any easier, but becuase the way the teacher runs it. Math class is an hour long, and I consider it the best hour of my day at school. The teacher just assumes you'll had the work in on time, and their are obvious pitfalls of not doing the homework, such as not knowing what is going on in class. However, this is easily correctable, and the increase to my stress level is minimal, not starting a downward spiral, towards fear.
I guess this rant is really for all you teachers, and going to be teachers out there. Your students are stressed enough. There's more to them then weather they did the homework. Its not impossible that they fear school as some place they always have to watch their backs, 24/7.
I have yet to find a feasible way to deal with it much. Many ways of relaxing seem to be temporary. They work untill you want them to work. I hope you either find a step towards a solution or a step away from the problem.