Author: Stardog
Date: 4/9/03
Rating: 2.0
Platform(s): Mac
More Info:
Official Site
Harry the Handsome Executive is a game by Ambrosia Software. Now when I took a first glance, it looked pretty cool. The plot sounded corny, but it still looked cool. It's about this guy that works in a buisness and he does all these wacky things in his swivel-chair. Amusing, stupid, yet I tried it anyhow.
When I first opened the game there was the main menu. It had Harry's chair with all those wacky devices that don't exist on it. It has the chair's blueprints. Something like a comfort management device on the chair cushion and wheels made for rugged terrain. When I saw this I thought this was kind of stupid, but I'd try it anyways.
Now when I first played I noticed the character is really hard to move around as of compared to most games. You have to move backwards, and when you do he moves somewhat slow. He pushes his feet off of the ground and propels him self. Then he slows down. Then he propels him self. Etc. It just gets annoying moving around. Either way, I kept playing. It was sort of fun.
Now, when I got to the first mission after I finished "boot camp," I found myself in a busy little office. The game was amusing. Harry would jump off ramps with his chair and answer the telephone with answers from people on the other side saying, "Harry! It's me, your mother! How come you never call me anymore?! *Hang up*"
So I do these wacky missions to help save the corporate buisness. Such as opening up the break room for cokes, getting doughnuts for the workers, the works. Eventually, I get to this one wacky mission.
Now this was kind of stupid. Robots were taking over the buisness and Harry had to stop them, with a STAPLE GUN. First of all, Staples don't kill jack. They cannot penetrate metal. Okay, so I went to the room that held the staples and I got them. I talked to the guy guarding the room and he said something corny like "Hey Harry! The Boss gave you code Omega-Frosty-Worm! Thats the highest rank a civillian guy can get in this buisness!" I'm just thinking that what he just said was weird. Civillian ranking? This buisness has military junk?
So I go down the corridors and meet my first robot. I shoot him mercilessly with staples, and he blows up. That was stupid, robots do not blow up to staples, as I have said earlier. After Harry killed him he said this stupid, yet amusing, quote that went like "Eat Staples, Electrode Breath," in his really 'cool' voice. After I played the game and killed all the robots, I was convinced. This was the stupidest game on planet Earth. So now, since Harry is so stupid, I will adore him with kind words from me.
Dear Harry,
I love the way you look in the mirror with that ghetto haircut of yours and smiling at yourself saying "Oh yeah, baby! Thats me! Thats me!" I love the way you yell out to the people when you enter your office. "HEY EVERYONE! It's me. Harry. Ain't I hanesome?" I love the corny things you write to yourself like: "Note To Self: I'm dying of thirst. Lets go find sunlight." Even though you make no sense, I adore you anyhow. Your funny, your amusing. Infact the company's name should be changed to Harry: The Ugly Executive. You are so smart, Harry. The way you act all dorky by killing robots with little tiny pieces of metal known as staples (what you think are shrapnel) is soo cool. Then you say your stupid heroic-dialogue. "EAT STAPLESS!!!! ELECTRODE BREATH!" Too bad robots don't breathe... You are just so cool Harry. I know just the reason why you got hired; you were too stupid to be true and the boss felt sorry for you. You should be proud of yourself Harry. Always give up on yourself.
Yours Truly (Not!),
Stardog
Hmm that went pretty well. Even though most of the time I was sarcastic, I think I made this Harry guy feel good. Anyways, Harry the Executive goes down the dumps. I don't think I'll be playing 'buisness' with him anymore. Especially after he got the B.A.D.A.S.S. (Biological Assular Demented Angularical Staples Shooter or something like that) staples gun. He is a mad-man with that thing. Well, I'm going to swivel on home.
Pushes feet on desk, propelling himself to the TV. Swivel, Swivel, Swivel, Swivel...
Extra Note: Okay so I thought the review was kinda corny, but then again so was the game. A perfect match! =-D.