Author: EVula
Date: 9/1/02
Rating: 3.7
Movie Rating: PG-13
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You know, the first Austin Powers movie was really funny. It was a perfect parady on every stock spy theme there was, from the elaborate killings to the bizarre schemes to the eccentric villians. On top of this, the main character was an over-sexed 60s hipster who had been frozen. It was gold.
Then there was the second movie. Same formula, only this time throw some time travel in there, too. Still funny.
Now we have the third one. The bastard child of Excrement and Feces.
I've thought long and hard about just what exactly went wrong with the third one, and I've come to a conclusion: They didn't realize what was funny about the other movies. The first movie had some really funny scenes, and it also had some toilet humor in it. The second one also had some really funny scenes in it, but with a bit more potty humor. The third one, as the others do, has some really funny scenes. However, the potty humor is turned up all the way.
Now, don't get me wrong. Fart jokes are funny. They have always been funny, and they always will be. There is a scene where Fat Bastard has a touching monologue about what kind of pain he is in, what with his being so hideously ugly and whatnot. Then the scene is broken by a fart. Funny stuff, right? Well, it is, but the following five minutes of him describing just how horrid it smells isn't.
Something else that was disgusting past the point of being funny: the new villan, Goldmember, would peel his skin and either collect it or eat it. Wonderful.
Another problem I had with the movie was the fact that it wouldn't let a joke be. It was like they needed to say "Hey, you, Mr. Jackass that just spent 8 bucks to see this! This is a joke! It's funny, so you should laugh!" For example, there is a scene with some subtitles. Some of the subtitles are partly covered, and the only amount of them that you can see make it have a very different meaning. After you read the "incorrect" subtitle, you then see the real subtitle, which is just normal speech. However, not willing to let the audience read on their own, the 70s chick gets up and reads it to you like you are five years old. Oh how I love being talked down to.
Also, this movie just simply regurgitated some of the jokes from the other movies. You remember the rather funny scene between Dr. Evil and Scott where Scott would try to talk and Dr. Evil would silence him? It was "shh" in the first one, and "zip it" in the second one. I couldn't even tell you what the hell he says in this one for that scene, as it made absolutely no sense (EVula's Note: Cara informs me he says "Scotty don't." Still retarded). Also, do you remember the giant flying dick scene in the first one, the one that cut from person to person? There is a scene like that in this one, too. However, like most other aspects of this movie, it's just not as funny.
By now you probably think this movie didn't have a single funny scene in it. That's not the case. There were actually some funny scenes, but they were so outweighed by all the negative stuff that the movie, as a whole, became shit.
For example, the movie started off with a really funny sequence (they're filming an Austin Powers movie, and all of the casting is really funny).
I'm sure that there was other funny stuff, too.
Anyway, time to wrap up the rather lengthy review up. Basically, don't see this movie. Gah, that was a little bit harsh. Don't see this movie in the theatre. Wait until it comes to HBO (where it won't be censored, woohoo!). If you don't have HBO, wait until it comes out on video/dvd and fool a friend into renting it and watch it over at his place. That way you don't feel dirty about paying for such a bad movie like I had to feel.