Author: Rep
Date: 12/30/03
Rating: 8.5
Movie Rating: PG-13
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Warning: Spoilers ahead.
So, my freaky-little-Lord-of-the-Rings-fan-to-the-extreme, you've been waiting since The Fellowship of the Ring was in pre-production to see this movie, huh? You've been reading every word Tolkien has written while you were a fetus?
Well, you won't be disappointed by this movie. Aside from one extremely horrible and unforgivable sequence, it was great.
First, to get you into my perspective on these movies, let's talk about the books.
I did not even read the books until the first movie came out. When it did, I thought, Hmm, maybe the books will be good. I'll read 'em. So, I did, starting with The Hobbit and ending with The Return of the King.
Hobbit was fantastic. It had a good plot, introduced us to an imaginative world, and had memorable characters. A great foreshadowing for the trilogy.
The Fellowship of the Ring did not impress me that much, mostly because it was almost identical to the movie. Jackson did not stray far from the book. Props to him for that. Reading the book was almost a chore, though.
The Two Towers was the best book of the entire trilogy. The characters were deeper, the story was fascinating, it had fantastic sequences, and kept me hooked until the end. Gollum was especially fascinating to read. I loved his monologues with himself. And they didn't butcher those scenes in the movies. I thought they played rather nicely.
Thinking that since the improvement from Fellowship to Towers was so drastic, then the third one would be phenomenal, I read The Return of the King. Man, was I ever wrong. The first half was alright. It didn't outshine the second book, which is something all great endings should do, so that dropped my opinion of it right there. Although, it was interesting, and unexpected, that Frodo would get evil and not want to destroy the ring, and ironic that Gollum did so, I still thought that Aragorn should have destroyed it, redeeming Isildor's mistake thousands of years ago.
But, I could have lived with that, had I not read the last half. You see, the book ends about halfway through. In my opinion, Tolkien looked at what he'd written, and compared it to his other two novels, and said, "My god, I've only filled half a novel! I'd better think of something to fill the empty space." He did. And it sucked. Period.
Now, back to what this review is supposed to be about. The Return of the King.
Firstly, we give credit where credit is due. Although I'd say the Oscars are safe, all the actors did a fabulous job playing their part in this epic. Each plays his or her part well, and no one is trying to outshine the others. They all work nicely off each other, and really come together as one.
Action. My God. If you didn't get enough epic battle scenes in Towers, then this is your lucky day. Although the siege of Minus Tirath is rather long, and each side continually, almost predictably, gets reinforced whenever they have heavy losses, it is still an adventure, and you aren't bored at all.
The only problem with these sequences is that our three warrior heroes, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, aren't present until they end, because they are off recruiting soldiers, in a scene with the ghost army, which, in my opinion, is the best part of the entire movie.
Now, Frodo, Sam and Gollum were terrific this time around, although Sam can't fake cry worth squat. Nevertheless, they are in a fantastic battle of wills as they enter Morder.
A primary obstacle in their way is Shelob, a huge spider that dwells in the mountain caves. Now, when I pondered how the movie would handle this scene, I feared that it would become some monstrosity along the Eight Legged Freaks persuasion. Thank God I was wrong. The spider, although all CGI, is tastefully done, and for once, I found myself not thinking about how fake the spider looked, but rather whether Frodo and Sam would live.
Another point: even though I read the books, the movie still keeps you feeling that, perhaps, they won't make it.
Now, you're thinking, After such a resounding review, what could he possibly refer to as 'unforgivable'?
That would be the ending. No, not the part where they destroyed the ring. The last, oh, forty-fiive minutes of the film shows how everyone's lives turned out, and how happy they all are. Honestly, the audience has brains. Well, most of them. It's pretty easy to assume that everyone lived happily ever after. We don't need to see it. This entire sequence took the power and drama of the destruction of the ring, and downplayed it. The movie should have ended right after Gollum fell in the lava. I would have been okay with one shot of Aragorn being crowned.
Don't believe me? The crowd I was with cheered when the words "THE END" came on screen. And not out of freaky-fandom for the movies. I've never been so happy to see those words.
Still don't believe me? Then go see the three hour and forty-five minute movie for yourself, dumbass.
The breakdown:
Action: Astonding.
Plot: Great. More tastefully handled than in the book.
Acting: Not Oscar-winning, but they definately deserve something.
Would I see it again in theaters? No. Not even a movie like this makes me want to sit on my butt for another four hours. Once was enough.
Would I buy it? Yes. Damnit. And I'll probably buy the extended version, which will be, what, ten hours long?